It's all over on Ash Wednesday .... But, as we all know, Lent begins! Fasting doesn't always have to be for the body. How about a detox for the soul? Starting today, we're providing 5 days of tips for a soul detox - have fun, maybe there's something for you too
Tag 5 : Reflektieren Sie doch mal..
Is your diary also full to bursting? Do you often feel that you are being controlled by others? Do you have the feeling that you are just functioning and there is hardly any time left in your life for yourself? Ask yourself in a quiet minute when you have time for yourself....
Even if our everyday lives are characterized by countless obligations, most of which have to be fulfilled, one thing is clear: moments for pausing and self-reflection only occur if you consciously create them yourself.
Through self-reflection, you can create space for yourself in your life
In the past, these moments were a natural part of everyday life. The whole family ate together once a day and there was room for conscious sharing. Perhaps there was also a grace to express gratitude for the food. Taking more than two weeks' vacation at a time was a matter of course and on Sundays you simply relaxed at home and let your mind wander. Nowadays, things are often very different - each family member comes home at a different time. Meals are often wolfed down in front of the TV or accompanied by a cell phone instead of being consciously enjoyed. Weekends are packed with appointments and then you also have to go to the gym, a literature circle, a club meeting and a coffee with the neighbors. Just do nothing? A complete waste of time. 3 weeks vacation in a row? A no go! It's better to take one week 3 times a year, then you'll get more out of it. .......
This is where phases of self-reflection can provide clarity as to whether you really want all these activities or perhaps something completely different. As soon as you are aware of what you really want, you will suddenly have space in your calendar that you didn't even notice before. If you consciously take time for self-reflection and recognize what is really important to you, you will also find the strength to say no sometimes.
Self-reflection makes it possible to consciously focus on positive things
This is not about positive thinking, because bad thoughts are also part of life and need their place. But aren't we all surrounded by so much negativity these days that we only notice the positive things when we really take the time to think about them? Just open the newspaper - it feels like 90% of the content is negative. We now receive almost exclusively horror stories from all over the world.......
As we know today, humans are the only living beings that can control their attention. However, if you don't know what you want to focus your attention on, then something will end up in your perception. In most cases, however, these are not necessarily things that make you happy and bring you joy.
Self-reflection enables you to consciously focus on positive things.
You can reduce external control through self-reflection
In many areas of our lives, we learned early on to react in a way that is determined by others. At school, the teacher told us what was coming up, at the club it was the coach, at home it was the parents and later at work it was the boss. But are you aware that an overcrowded diary is also a form of heteronomy? How often have you squeezed in extra appointments, even in your free time, where there was still room and not where it would have suited you?
In childhood, at least the older ones of us were often able to decide for ourselves what we wanted to do in our free time. Because children weren't presented with a ready-made leisure program. Back then, many children simply went out and did whatever they felt like doing.
We often (mis)learn to decide for ourselves what is important and where to go, but without a certain reasonable degree of self-determination, there is no real satisfaction...
However, if you regularly reflect on your day and find out what is good for you and what is not, then you are able to actively and self-determinedly ensure that you bring more of the good things into your everyday life
Simply start integrating self-reflection into your life!
- Schedule fixed times:
Initially, it certainly makes sense to reserve a fixed time for this - otherwise self-reflection will always get lost in the daily grind. - Create a clear structure for self-reflection:
The approach to reflecting on yourself is of course individual. It could be helpful to always ask yourself the same questions at the beginning in order to recognize a development. or you can simply reflect on whatever comes to mind. - Record your thoughts in writing: a small diary is ideal for this. On the one hand, you will remember more when you write. On the other hand, it is a real pleasure to read the sum of your findings after a while.
- Stay disciplined for at least a month!
Various studies show that it takes around 21 days to establish new habits in our everyday lives. At the beginning, you will most likely forget your reflection time from time to time or deliberately skip it. This daily ritual may even get on your nerves because you lack a routine. However, once this routine kicks in, you are sure to really get into the flow.
Day 4 : Less noise and stimuli, more conscious moments of silence
Are you aware of the stimuli and the constant noise level you are exposed to every day? Voices, machine noises, traffic noise and there is always some kind of noise in the background, be it the computer, the TV, the radio, a player or whatever: it clicks, buzzes, hums, rings, rings, ...
Most of us look at our cell phones several times an hour. We are constantly surrounded by stimuli and swimming in the information overload of the digital age. .....
Try pausing for a brief moment:
What do you hear? Which noises, sounds and tones do you perceive in your immediate vicinity and which in the distance? Which of these is the loudest, the most present, which is the quietest?
You will probably be amazed at how many sounds can still be heard in a seemingly quiet environment....
The louder the world, the greater the longing for silence for many of us
Do you feel the same way? The noisier and more hectic the world around you is, the greater your need for silence and tranquillity.
However, silence is not necessarily noiselessness. And on closer inspection, there is no such thing as complete silence anyway, because even our own breath makes a sound.
To calm down in silence, find yourself again and recharge your batteries, it is primarily about moments in which the sources of noise around you and the associated acoustic stimuli are consciously reduced as much as possible.
Why? Here are three convincing reasons.
The fact that regular periods of silence are so important for the brain and our soul and strengthen our sense of well-being has also been confirmed by brain research.
But why are periods of silence so important for us?
Silence helps to combat stress and excessive demands
Any form of noise, i.e. individually disturbing sounds, creates stress in us. The more often we are exposed to noise, the greater our stress levels and all the associated potential health effects.
Regular periods of silence can counteract precisely this stress. According to a recent study, just two minutes of silence has a positive effect on blood pressure and is even more effective than listening to relaxing music.
Detox for the soul:
Switch off all sources of noise for a few minutes and allow yourself at least five minutes of silence every day.
Silence supports regeneration and recharges your batteries
Everything around us costs mental energy - constant news, your job, the constant challenges of everyday life, the constant sensory overload. As a result, our ability to concentrate decreases, at some point we suffer from symptoms of fatigue and, in the worst case, mental exhaustion.
So detox for the soul:
To recharge your mental batteries, regularly find a quiet place, consciously withdraw, close your eyes and escape the constant background noise and sensory overload for at least a few minutes.
Conscious phases of silence boost your creativity
It is obvious that constant tension, stress, noise and constant sensory overload are anything but conducive to our creativity. However, a decelerated brain rhythm promotes our creativity process.
So detox for the soul:
Whenever you are looking for creativity, an idea or a solution to a problem, consciously seek out silence.
Day 3 : Calmness instead of constant excitement
No more panic, shock paralysis, erratic reactions and hasty, short-sighted actions! Instead of constant, sometimes unnecessary psychological stress, it would surely make sense to practice a little serenity...
But what is serenity? Serenity means being at peace with yourself and accepting things that you cannot change without unnecessary excitement.... Unfortunately, most of our everyday lives look very different because we worry, get angry easily or feel stressed and permanently tense.
However, this is not good for our mental health and it is anything but good for our bodies.
On the one hand, we need a lot of strength and energy for these 'outbursts' and at the same time they restrict our ability to act. When you are really upset, you are no longer able to act calmly and quickly end up in a paralyzing faint.
More composure could certainly solve this problem, but composure usually seems unattainable in stressful situations. Nevertheless, there are always people who can hardly be rattled and who give the impression of facing all adversity with a smile on their face...
How does it work?
The realization that excitement is often counterproductive is the basis for calmness - because let's be honest, most of the time excitement really isn't worth it!
We can't undo things that have already happened, even with the greatest excitement.
And we certainly can't positively influence what might happen in the future through inner turmoil.
The only thing that excitement really changes is our mood and presumably that of those around us.
However, if we react thoughtfully and calmly instead of panicking, we have many more options. This is because we are then able to think clearly about our next actions and take the necessary steps in a targeted manner. What's more, we feel better both mentally and physically
Try to internalize this simple reality over the next few weeks so that you can consciously work on your composure and pull the panic emergency brake at certain moments.
Learn relaxation techniques
The higher your stress level, the more difficult it is for you to remain calm in stressful situations. Therefore, an important measure is personal stress reduction.
Pause for a moment at the right time
If you notice that you could become upset, consciously pause for a brief moment. No matter what reaction you then consciously decide to take: Take a moment out of the situation and take a deep breath, consciously relax your shoulder muscles, as this muscle area in particular is usually very tense when you are stressed and tense. Then count to ten in your mind. In most cases, the first impulse to lose your temper will have already passed and you will have the opportunity to deal with the situation in a considered and calm manner.
Practice calmness regularly when dealing with small issues
Of course, it is particularly challenging to react calmly when a matter is very important to us or affects us personally. In order to master these matters with inner calm at some point, you simply need practice. This practice could consist of turning the small daily annoyances into a challenge. Try to remain calm when a colleague seems to take his bad mood out on you, when your partner is in a bad mood again or even when the person in front of you in traffic crawls across the road at a snail's pace. Keep reminding yourself that excitement only makes the situation worse! The more often you practise calmness in minor situations, the easier it will be for you to remain calm when really stressful issues arise.
Take short breaks
As already mentioned, a high stress level is fatal for calmness and composure. Therefore, make sure that you get enough short breaks in addition to all the daily to-dos. This includes a good night's sleep as well as regular breaks during the day.
Maintain your personal boundaries
Composure is particularly difficult when your personal boundaries are crossed, whether consciously or unconsciously. If someone disrespects you, gets too close to you, simply takes over your time, overtaxes you or ignores your needs, you can of course quickly become very upset. However, it would certainly make sense to react much earlier, and then calmly. Make your boundaries clear to the other person in good time, even before they are crossed.
Always check your perception
Whenever we get upset, the current situation initially seems terrible. However, what we regularly forget when we are stressed is that we tend to dramatize stressful situations. We accept possibilities as facts and suddenly perceive harmless things as infinitely worse. Therefore: take yourself out of the situation for a moment and ask yourself: is it really so....
Day 2 : Understanding instead of judging
If we are honest, we all judge other people very often, sometimes we reject them, we react ironically, we make fun of others. ......
But are the 'others' always so disappointing? Or are we too often "disappointable" ourselves?
Both are certainly true. But if we are really honest, others are neither as great nor as bad as we ourselves often assume.
If you yourself are disappointed too often, it may also be because you expect too much of them. Because there are always two sides to a disappointment - individual expectations usually explain the disappointment just as well as the other person's behavior.
We also realize far too rarely that the condemnation of what others do or are always arises from our own experience. This is because, as a rule, we can only perceive in others what we have learned to see. Our egoism teaches us to see the egoism of others. Sometimes in an appropriate way, sometimes more so. In the worst case, we only imagine that something is there: this is called projection. This means that we attribute a characteristic or behavior to others that we actually have ourselves.
So if we are honest, we see the world through the lens of our personal shortcomings and difficulties.
This also applies to the details that we notice in our surroundings or that catch our eye. You are probably familiar with this: you buy a new bike and suddenly you see this model everywhere on the street. In the same way, a racist will be more aware of reports of criminal acts committed by foreigners, an anarchist of police misconduct, and so on.
Unfortunately, this is why racist prejudices and sexist stereotypes are so persistent.
If you want to combat your own prejudices, it will of course take some effort. However, it is easier not to rush to judgment from the outset than to revise judgments you have already made. This is because the judgment you form about a person becomes stubbornly fixed in your mind for a long time, even if it is later refuted.
What can you do to avoid making hasty judgments?
- Practice observation and acceptance and try to understand the actions of your fellow human beings! Observe what is happening around you and first accept everything as it is - before you judge! Perhaps the taciturn colleague has a stressful relationship problem, the snail in front of you on the road is simply afraid to drive faster because she was involved in an accident, the unfocused friend has circulatory problems....
- Mentally move from the general to the specific: Practice breaking down and weighing up your judgment. What do you like about this person, what works well and what doesn't? What are the pros and cons?
- Overcome the temptation to judge the person.
Don't take an absolute standpoint such as "She's like this", but rather a selective "She behaves like this in this situation".
Instead of judging "She's being pedantic". Be understanding and factual "If she behaves like this, it's because it helps her or brings her something....
Instead of simply resenting her, seek a conversation
Day 1 : Renounce frustration - just be grateful for once
When was the last time you were grateful?
For your partnership, your family and friends, your health, your job, your beautiful home or nature?
And when were you frustrated and complained from morning to night - about your annoying partner, your stressful family, the weather, annoying colleagues, the state, the government?
Sure - you can certainly find reasons for both... but if you decide to be grateful instead of complaining all the time in future, you will not only promote your own happiness, but also long-term positive interpersonal relationships, your health and your professional success.
Of course, gratitude is not a must. Under no circumstances should you feel obliged to be more grateful.
However, you could see the feeling of gratitude as an opportunity and a chance to develop a fundamentally positive attitude towards the world.
We all take so many things for granted in everyday life and strive for more and more things. It would certainly be beneficial to pause for a moment every now and then and reflect on what we have and be grateful for it.
If you often indulge in negative emotions, remembering to be grateful for something from time to time will probably not help you. This may improve your mood for a short time, but it will not lead to long-term well-being. Learn to consciously focus on the good things in life. After all, they are what make our lives so worth living.
This does not mean that you should suppress all other feelings from now on. Because even if gratitude as a personality trait leads to a much more positive attitude towards life, other emotions such as anger and rage are not something to be despised or avoided. All of these emotions are just as much a part of being human as sadness and the feeling of happiness. Focusing on gratitude does not mean never being angry, discouraged or lonely again. It simply means not allowing yourself to be permanently consumed by negative feelings.
This "immaterial gratitude" in particular is an expression of a positive attitude towards life. It is a kind of "inner attitude" towards our fellow human beings, our personal and professional situation and life in general. It is neither linked to conditions nor to material benefits....
For this very reason, gratitude plays a fundamental role in psychological research as well as in various world religions and is generally regarded as a "desirable attitude to life".